If you've been around the IVF blogosphere much, then you've probably seen the tongue-in-cheek description of "IVF Barbies" that makes the rounds. My compressed version is below.
- Newbie Barbie, AKA BabyDust Barbie, is a bright, perky, Barbie, filled with optimism and confidence that IVF Will Work. She is thinner and usually younger than the other IVF Barbies. Her accessories include rose-tinted spectacles, a pineapple, a positive bank balance, healthy insurance coverage and a million questions. This Barbie only says pleasant, optimistic things and believes that Attitude is Everything.
- Veteran Barbie is the Anti-Barbie. They are a whole lot plumper than the Newbie Barbies, less perky, have a few gray hairs, a largely negative bank balance, plenty of bruises and marks and a cynical attitude. Their accessories include a wealth of knowledge of reproductive protocols, the ability to practically do their own cycle, little tolerance for stupidity, a well defined sense of humor, a fondness for wine/beer/crack and a strong aversion to pineapple, baby dust and Newbie Barbies.
Even though it took 3-1/2 years to conceive Waffle Girl, I figured I was still a Newbie Barbie because we got beginners luck with IVF back in 2007. But now the crappy events of 2009 definitely put me deeper into the Veteral Barbie camp. Hmm.. where to start?
When we first went to see Dr. Snaggletooth this March, it seemed reasonable to hope that we could fit in two IVF cycles by the end of the year. That's what my insurance would cover and that's the effort we were willing to put in. I wasn't greedy or naive enough to assume it would work on the first try (again) so I expected to do two rounds this year. But who knew there were so many ways to delay and screw up that first attempt?! Read here for a recap: http://theinfertilebreeder.blogspot.com/2009/08/so-much-for-fast-track.html
When we first went to see Dr. Snaggletooth this March, it seemed reasonable to hope that we could fit in two IVF cycles by the end of the year. That's what my insurance would cover and that's the effort we were willing to put in. I wasn't greedy or naive enough to assume it would work on the first try (again) so I expected to do two rounds this year. But who knew there were so many ways to delay and screw up that first attempt?! Read here for a recap: http://theinfertilebreeder.blogspot.com/2009/08/so-much-for-fast-track.html
After 6 months down the tubes, we got an actual IVF cycle going in September. This one was really great, though, I must tell you. Not only did my ovaries give a stellar performance for a 39-year-old, but my response to the meds was even better than it was with the same dosage when I was 37. Instead of having 2 blastocysts to transfer, this time we had 6 to work with. The quality was good enough that the doc advised us to do a single embryo transfer and freeze the rest. Well it's a darned good thing we have those "extras" because the first one didn't quite work out. At 7-1/2 weeks it was evident that the embryo wasn't viable. I stopped taking progesterone supplements and miscarried naturally a few days later.
So 2009 was a bust. I am full of Veteran Barbie wisdom and ill will toward those who annoy me. And my level of black humor has gone up a notch. You can imagine how I cackled out loud when I popped open the latest vial of Lupron (pictured above) and noticed that is says "FLIP OFF" on the cap. Well, you don't have to tell me twice! I'll flip 'em all off! The doctors, the nurses, the technicians, the receptionist.. the pregnant ladies on the street.. the chick at my gym who complained that she had her second kid too soon after the first. Grrr.
But the truth is I'm still very optimistic and Newbie-like. We're in good shape for 2010. I have started Lupron shots for our FET in January. If that doesn't work, we'll do a second and then a third. If those don't work, we still have insurance coverage for a second fresh IVF cycle. If that doesn't work, then who the hell cares? I have my Waffle Girl and Mr. Foxy and that is enough.
