processing.. processing..

Our frozen embryo transfer went great yesterday and I've been lounging on the couch since then, thinking fertile thoughts. Okay, that's not totally true. I've been sulking and stewing, too. I feel like Dr. Snaggletooth executed a "bait and switch" with our day-5 blastocysts.

We had previously agreed to a single-embryo transfer, same as what we did in September, using the second of our excellent quality (AA) blasts. See this link for more info about day-5 blastocyst grading . As I'm getting prepped for the transfer, the Doc tells me we're transferring a "beautiful BB" embryo. Sure, a BB isn't bad, but why did we pass over the remaining AA and the two ABs?! The answer is that the BB was frozen in a single straw (the obvious choice for a single transfer) while the 4 higher-grade embies were frozen in pairs. Well why wasn't the AA frozen as a single, given the fact that yours truly was an obvious candidate for a future single blast transfer? It's just dumb.

So I have my legs in stirrups already and the embryologist comes to check our IDs and she explains that the AAs and BBs have the same implantation rate, so it doesn't really matter. Obviously I was in no position to argue. I figured that they'd have to defrost 2 more embies (total of 3) just to get the one AA that I wanted. So I sucked it up and went ahead with the transfer, even though I feel like we'd been shanghaied.

As a frame of reference, Waffle Girl is the result of the AB transferred in '07, along with another blast, a BC, which did not ever implant. So the BB we took home yesterday is somewhere between Waffle Girl and bupkus in terms of implantation.

I feel that we have a less-than-50% shot that this one could work. So what.. we'll do another FET in two months. Well the problem is that, after having 2 failed single-blast transfers, we'll be advised to do a double-blast transfer (pairing up the AA and an AB) next time around. We'll be at a high risk for twins, which is exactly what I'd hoped to avoid by doing singles in the first place! I think there is a definite dis-connect between how the lab freezes the embryos versus a logical progression of future FETs. I'm not sure whether I'll come in to gripe about this before or after my beta, but believe me they will hear about this.

I know I sound bitchy and greedy. I'm just frustrated by the various fuck-ups and delays in the span of one year. I know we can have another IVF baby - I don't doubt this. But I feel like it's been dangled in front of us for months and I just keep grabbing at it like a kitten at a feather.

So my lil' BB embryo is floating in a womb full of confusion and angst. Luckily, Mr. Foxy has been very encouraging. He's holding the good thought that this embryo is the little scrappy one, the mutt who will work really hard to earn his place in the family. Sure, I'll buy that. I've been promised Thai food for dinner tonight, so hopefully that will help turn my crappy attitude around.

P.S. If you're interested in the pre-FET drug protocol, here's a photo of my daily dose of meds for the week before transfer. Since the transfer, I got to stop Lupro.n and antibiotics, but all else remains the same. Is it any wonder I'm getting emotional?